My Dating Diary :: The One Where Everything Was Wrong

It all started the weekend I was celebrating my 40th birthday.  I threw a party at my house on a Friday night.  I had a blast!  Then I went to bed alone and woke up alone.  I spent most of Saturday at home all by myself.  I didn’t like this feeling of alone.  So I decided I wanted to put myself out there and try to meet someone.  How would I do that?  My life circles around my kids & work.  I don’t ever meet anyone.  I don’t ever go anywhere to have an opportunity to meet anyone.  So I signed up for a dating app, Hinge to be exact.

I’m taking a moment for a deep breath… signing up for a dating app was my first mistake.  I have tried them before in the past and it always turns out bad.  I’m not sure why I thought this time would be different.

I chatted with quite a few people.  But every time it got to the point of meeting up, I would flake out and say no.  Finally after 6 weeks of doing this I committed to a date.  Ready or not, I forced myself to get out there and try.  

I agreed to meet this man at a the restaurant.  He was new in town and asked that I choose the restaurant.  I arrived on time, he was 10 minutes early.  When I got there he was not waiting for me by the door or the hostess stand.  No, he was at the bar with a drink in his hand talking to 2 women.

I should have walked out right then.  But my curiosity got the best of me.  Someone once said to me: “a mans confidence is both impressive & horrifying all at the same time”.  It’s so true!  Where do they get the nerve to act certain ways as if it’s okay.  I kinda wanted to see what else he would do.  Plus, I was dressed, out of the house and hungry.

We sat down at the table.  I ordered a glass of wine and we ordered some appetizers, then entrees.  The conversation was interesting to say the least.  He went on and on about his meal prep and how he is not used to eating this kind of food.  Keep in mind- he requested I pick an Italian restaurant.  He ordered pasta, then complained about the pasta and how he never eats pasta! 

He complained about the vacation he recently took with his son.  About the weight of the bags, the charge for bags, the charge for seats on the plane, etc.  Complained about his move to Tampa, complained about his neighborhood, the amenities, how the community pool has rules he doesn’t like.  He is unable to hang his tv or art and couldn’t get anyone out to his house for another week.  This is a huge turn off for me.  I need a man who is handy and can do simple things around this house.  I can hang a tv and art and drapes all by myself.  I need a man who is able to do more around the house than I can.

He complained that his ex wife is crazy.  Oh, he has 2 ex wives.  Didn’t know that!  He can’t make it past 6 years of marriage for either one.  He bragged about how much money he makes and that he gets Botox to stay looking young.  He expects any woman he is interested in to have the same mindset about looking good.

He talked so much I barely said anything.  But the worse thing he said is that he choose to relocate to Tampa, leaving his son in Indiana.  He has lived in the same city as his son his whole life.  But now that his son is 13 he choose to move across the country.  He tried to sell me on this idea like it was a great thing for his son.  I want no part of a man that can up and leave his child.  He made it clear he had a great job in Indiana and choose to get a different job and move.  For no other reason than him wanting to be in warm weather.

He kept saying how he was having a great time and he can’t wait to see me again.  Towards the end of the meal he seemed to be in a hurry but kept asking me what restaurant we were going to next time.  It didn’t make sense.  If he wanted to see me again, why do I feel like he is rushing to leave.  I can’t count how many times he asked me what night next week I am free and what restaurant will we go to.  The whole thing was off.

He ate his entree so fast.  Then got up and went to the bathroom, while I was still eating my entree.  I think that is such bad manners.  Do not leave me sitting at the table alone while I’m eating my entree.  Wait until I’m finished then get up. 

Then the thing that pissed me off the most!!!  When the server brought over the dessert menu, he immediately said no and did not give me a chance to answer.  Do not deny me dessert!!!  What if I wanted dessert?!  What if I wanted to order every dessert on the menu and take one bite of each and just look at them.  Never decide for me whether I will eat dessert or not!

As we were leaving the restaurant I asked him where he was parked.  He never asked me. Then he leaned in for a side hug and tried to kiss me.  My body jerked back in shock.  Like WTF!!??  I said good bye and walked off.  He basically ran off in the opposite direction.  He never offered to walk me to my car or asked me where I parked to make sure I was safe. 

When I got into my car and thought it was all over… 20 minutes later he messages me “just got here, where are you?”  He was meeting another woman after me.  That’s why he was in a hurry to get going but kept asking to see me again.  When I wrote back and confronted him about it, he lied.  He said that message was meant for me and he sent it earlier but the app messed up and sent it late.  LOL!!  How dumb does he think I am?!  I understand how online dating works.  Most people are talking to several people at a time, going on several dates a week.  I don’t care.  But don’t schedule someone immediately after me.

After I let him know he was lying, he never messaged me again.  I went home and deleted the dating app.

I did see him 2 months later while I was out to dinner with friends.  It was obvious he was there to meet someone.  I saw him from across the restaurant, I don’t think he saw me.  A man like that should not be going on dates.

Although the date was sooo bad!  I did get in my car and laugh all the way home.  I truly am amazed at how ridiculous some people can act.


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5 thoughts on “My Dating Diary :: The One Where Everything Was Wrong

  1. Woooow! The nerve of that guy!! How humiliating for HIM! Good for you for confronting him, what a loser! You go girl!!

  2. That’s how dating apps are unfortunately. Some guys are addicted to seeing how many women they can hook up with. The only thing about him going to the bathroom while you were eating is… maybe the food upset his stomach and he has GI issues. When you have to go, you can’t hold it!

  3. So sad that some men have been raised with no manners & are rude to nice people. Good job for deleting the app.

  4. Where did your list go of expectations? I am the same way and wanted to share with my Father, who raised me to expect those things!

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