“I don’t have time” really means “it’s not a priority”
I am a big believer in prioritizing my life and spending my time and energy where it is most important. Every month or two I sit down and think about what is the most important to me. Then I analyze my life to make sure I am spending my time and energy in the correct place.
Without having these honest conversations with yourself it’s easy to get busy in life and go thru on “auto pilot”. It’s easy to say your kids or your spouse is the most important to you, but are your actions showing it? Actions always speak louder than words.
I make a conscience decision to put my kids and husband first before anything or anyone. This means if I want to spend quality time with my kids instead of cleaning my house, I do it. And if someone shows up at my house and sees it dirty, I don’t care because I know I spent my time where it matters most to me.
For me, this means having strict boundaries with my phone. My phone can be a huge distraction if it is at arms length. I always put my phone away during family quality time; this includes all meals, bedtime, after school and any time I want to give my family undivided attention. During date nights with my husband I only check my phone in case the babysitter called, and for nothing else.
I aslo have boundaries with people in my life. I refuse to stretch myself too thin and give my worst to my family. If I make a commitment to my kids I won’t break it just because something “better” came up or someone is pressing me to do something right now (trust me, most things can wait… the world won’t stop spinning). I want to teach my children the importance of keeping a commitment and I want to show them the respect that I want them to show me. By setting aside blocks of time for my family without allowing any interference, I am showing them that they are my #1 priority.
I think to myself, in 20 or 30 years will I be happy where I spent my time? Time is the most valuable commodity. You can never get it back and you can never get more of it. At the end of someone’s life, have you ever heard them say they should have worked more?
Each person has their own set of priorities. The important thing is that you are spending your time on what is important to you. Not influenced by society, parents, friends, employers, etc.
With divorce at an all time high, I think it’s time we start rewriting some rules on the “normal” way things are done. I don’t care what’s popular or how things have always been done.
To live a life you want to live you have to be able to say “no” to people and not care what they think of you. It is impossible to make everyone happy, so stop trying. Instead do what makes you happy. With many decisions in life you are going to disappoint someone, don’t disappoint the ones you love the most. Stand up for what you believe in and defend it courageously.
I want to lead a life the way I want to live it, not persuaded by anyone’s opinion. In my life, family always comes first!