Do you ever see your kids from a distance and think to yourself, how did I get here? are those my kids? have I lowered my standards of normal that much that I think this is ok? Eight years ago I would have looked at a woman like me and thought “Lady, control your kids!” I fear that I have become the woman I once judged.
On Tuesday I threw out my back, sending me into such pain that it left me completely helpless. I have a curve in my spine, borderline scoliosis, and this happens every couple of years. It takes about a week of heat, ice, stretching, rest to get back to normal. Since Tuesday evening I have pretty much been doing the bare minimum around the house and with the kids. Just to drive or lift my son into his crib is so much pain! So there has been a lot of tv and ipad going on in my house. Anything to keep the kids happy so I can nurse my back.
Last night the kids were so restless after dinner I thought it would be a good idea to take a family outing to Target. We needed to get a couple of things and the kids needed to get out of the house and walk off some energy. I of course left the house looking like I was run over by a truck. I haven’t washed my hair since Tuesday and I couldn’t dry it due to the pain in my back. So it’s a frizz afro with oily roots- great! I had on baggy sweat pants and sweat shirt, no make-up and ugg boots. I was a sight for sore eyes!! But we needed to get out!
The trip started off with visiting the $1 section and picking out a few Hello Kitty stickers and silly putty. Next is on to look at the toys and think about what Santa might bring us. Then we need to pick out a snack for school tomorrow. So far so good! Everyone is happy and enjoying themselves.
After check out, my husband is pushing the cart and I’m supposed to be walking with the kids towards the door. But my son Caleb, who is 2, decided to run ahead of me. He is now dangerously close to the door to the parking lot. I yell to my daughter Sofia, who is 5, to grab Caleb so he can’t run outside. I’m trying my hardest to run up to them but every step is so painful. Sofia runs and football tackles him to the ground. Caleb lets out this high pitched girls scream that sounds like he is in excruciating pain. Anyone who has heard this scream can testify, no one can scream as high pitched and ear piercing as Caleb! They continue to roll around on the ground in front of customer service as Sofia is yelling out “I’m trying to keep you safe” and Caleb is screaming high pitched and so loud the entire time. This lasted for at least a minute as I am barely moving faster than a normal walk speed. Everyone around us is looking and judging as I walk up and try to parent these crazy kids. I tried to think of something clever to say to lighten the mood. Something like “oh, I’m the nanny and this is my first day :)” But I knew I looked to frazzled for anyone to believe I was the nanny. So I just got my kids and kept moving. I find that when moments like this happen I have to focus on my kids and myself and what I think is right, forget all those faces around me judging. They don’t know what kind of week I’m having.
This is to all the kids that have hit someone else’s kid at the park. The kid that took her clothes off and went down the slide at the town picnic! The kid that dumped their crackers out and stomped on them just to piss you off. The kids that run and hide from you in a mall. It’s also to the same kids that give you that extra squeezy hug at night and tell you one more time they love you. The kids that say you are the best mom ever! The kids that get you a boo boo when you bang your knee against the table.
These kids are my favorite! They are all kinds of dramatic, emotions, creativity and think the entire world is their stage. They love and are naughty to the highest and widest degree. Here is to the kids that see life in the best way possible!