My husband and I have been married for 10 years. Still after 10 years of marriage I love him so much. If I could go back in time and have a redo, I would marry him all over again. With so many divorces happening and people having the worst luck in love, I have to ask myself, what are we doing right? We are just normal people, no better than anyone else. Why are we still so happy being married to each other after 10 years?
Of course over 10 years we have had ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and bad. We are by no means perfect. In a marriage, the good times are always the easiest. Who isn’t happy when everything in their life is going perfect? But I’ve had to reflect on how we have gotten thru the bad. There are a few key things that my husband and I always live by:
- We are each others #1. We are best friends and we put our friendship before any other relationship.
- When one is weak, the other is strong. We all have bad days and hard seasons in life. It’s important to encourage and lift up your partner when they need it. And be patient when the other is going thru something difficult!
- Make time for each other. It’s hard to make each other #1 if you don’t spend quality time together. We have a minimum of a weekly “date night” at home. We put the kids to bed, turn off our phones and just spend time together.
- Talk to each other. When communication stops, get scared! Talk about everything, even when you’re pissed at each other- just talk!!!!
- Forgive & Forget. We all screw up and make mistakes. Show the same forgiveness and grace to him that you want him to show to you. (My husband is better at this than me!)
- We do not have set “roles”. We do not have an old school, traditional marriage. We both do whatever needs to be done. My husband will go grocery shopping and change a poopy diaper. I will pay the bills and get gas in the car. We are both 100% involved in everything and neither one of us sits down at night to relax until everything is done.
My personal favorite-
- Never stop trying for each other. A good friend of mine told me that every Friday her husband is her boyfriend. She gets dressed up, does her hair and make up so she can “date” her husband. I love it! I don’t ever want to stop dating my husband. I love the feeling of getting ready for a date. I love doing my make up pretty and putting on a cute outfit. 2 babies and 10 years later my body isn’t what it used to be, but I’m still going to put on something sexy that makes me feel beautiful to date my husband. And with that being said, my husband thinks my “battle wounds” (stretch marks from pregnancy) are sexy. It’s a reminder of what I went thru to have our beautiful children. With 2 little ones at home we don’t get out as often as we would like, so we have a date at home all the time. Our favorite thing to do is have wine and cheese while making dinner together, followed by dessert and a good movie. And of course candles lit all over the house to set the mood. Yes, I get all dressed up for these dates at home, and so does he. If you make it special, it will be special; even if you’re just at home.
For those that have kids, make time for each other. It’s so easy to put your kids #1 and to forget about one another. I always think to myself, when my kids are grown and gone, it will be just me and my hubby. In 20 years I don’t want to look at my husband and not know who he is. No child has suffered from their parents making time for each other. They see their friends parents separating and divorcing, they will feel more secure when they see that they have parents that love each other.
Ok Ok, I’m not Dr Phil or Oprah. This is getting a little serious. Let’s end on this, love your husband. Life is too short to be angry or mad at him. Every morning we all have a choice to make- to love or not to love. I choose to love!
XOXO – Rachel