Date Your Husband

My husband and I have been married for 10 years.  Still after 10 years of marriage I love him so much.  If I could go back in time and have a redo, I would marry him all over again.  With so many divorces happening and people having the worst luck in love, I have to ask myself, what are we doing right?  We are just normal people, no better than anyone else.  Why are we still so happy being married to each other after 10 years?

Of course over 10 years we have had ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and bad.  We are by no means perfect.  In a marriage, the good times are always the easiest.  Who isn’t happy when everything in their life is going perfect?  But I’ve had to reflect on how we have gotten thru the bad.  There are a few key things that my husband and I always live by:

  • We are each others #1.  We are best friends and we put our friendship before any other relationship.
  • When one is weak, the other is strong.  We all have bad days and hard seasons in life.  It’s important to encourage and lift up your partner when they need it.  And be patient when the other is going thru something difficult!
  • Make time for each other.  It’s hard to make each other #1 if you don’t spend quality time together.  We have a minimum of a weekly “date night” at home.  We put the kids to bed, turn off our phones and just spend time together.
  • Talk to each other.  When communication stops, get scared!  Talk about everything, even when you’re pissed at each other- just talk!!!!
  • Forgive & Forget.  We all screw up and make mistakes.  Show the same forgiveness and grace to him that you want him to show to you.  (My husband is better at this than me!)
  • We do not have set “roles”.  We do not have an old school, traditional marriage.  We both do whatever needs to be done.  My husband will go grocery shopping and change a poopy diaper.  I will pay the bills and get gas in the car.  We are both 100% involved in everything and neither one of us sits down at night to relax until everything is done.

My personal favorite-

  • Never stop trying for each other.  A good friend of mine told me that every Friday her husband is her boyfriend.  She gets dressed up, does her hair and make up so she can “date” her husband.  I love it!  I don’t ever want to stop dating my husband.  I love the feeling of getting ready for a date.  I love doing my make up pretty and putting on a cute outfit.  2 babies and 10 years later my body isn’t what it used to be, but I’m still going to put on something sexy that makes me feel beautiful to date my husband.  And with that being said, my husband thinks my “battle wounds” (stretch marks from pregnancy) are sexy.  It’s a reminder of what I went thru to have our beautiful children.  With 2 little ones at home we don’t get out as often as we would like, so we have a date at home all the time.  Our favorite thing to do is have wine and cheese while making dinner together, followed by dessert and a good movie.  And of course candles lit all over the house to set the mood.  Yes, I get all dressed up for these dates at home, and so does he.  If you make it special, it will be special; even if you’re just at home.

For those that have kids, make time for each other.  It’s so easy to put your kids #1 and to forget about one another.  I always think to myself, when my kids are grown and gone, it will be just me and my hubby. In 20 years I don’t want to look at my husband and not know who he is.  No child has suffered from their parents making time for each other.  They see their friends parents separating and divorcing, they will feel more secure when they see that they have parents that love each other.

Ok Ok, I’m not Dr Phil or Oprah.  This is getting a little serious.  Let’s end on this, love your husband.  Life is too short to be angry or mad at him.  Every morning we all have a choice to make- to love or not to love.  I choose to love!

XOXO – Rachel

12 thoughts on “Date Your Husband

  1. This is exactly my thoughts, except one more :never give up on your spouse. Divorcing is so easy. £300 and that’s it? Give the card details and sign here and you two are no longer together. Hey bada boom bada bing! It’s too easy. Marriage is hard, just like all good things in life. I wish more people remembered that it might just give love a stronger, bigger chance at lasting.

  2. This absolutely beautiful. I wish more couples would think like this. Marriage is such a beautiful thing that needs to be worked on everyday. You don’t love your spouse just when you feel like it. Its an everyday choice just like you said.

  3. This is great! My bf and I have been dating for 6 years but I always wonder how will it be 10 years from now. This def. makes me feel confident we will be just as crazy in love as we r now and have been since the day we meet. :) thanks Rachael. Also keeping you in my prayer for you and your family I know u guys have a lot going on right now.

  4. Thanks for staying strong in your marriage and putting in the hard work when it’s easy to give up. Couples like you who have been together for many years and are still so in love are such a great example for those of us who have only been married a couple years. It’s definitely worth the hard work to have a great marriage. Thanks for the encouragement, keep at it!

  5. Very true, even thought times of uncertain in your marriage, I was there for my husband because I love him, and I will go till the end of the tunnel by his side.

  6. Such awesome advice. Me and my spouse dont always have the greatest of moments and sometimes i think if were even right for each other but i dont want to give up, especially because we have a little girl. She’s five and we want another but everytime we talk about it something goes wrong and makes me think twice. Like how can we bring another baby if we keep arguing, i then think of me being a single mom. My thinking this way has a lot to do with my mom, 5 kids and single parent. Im scared to be alone but even more to think that my daughter sees us argue.He’s not a talker and keeps to himself, we’ve been together about 7 yrs and were so different. Its so hard sometimes so your advice, your blog is VERY helpful thank you!!!!

  7. I like the way you think, in this times couples do not mind taking the commitment to each other and Divorce is the first choice. Need to be less selfish and think about the family and their welfare, when the couple is happy in good times and bad, the children grow up happy and also follow their example of family life. Congratulation!

  8. You gave such great advice and I love all the things that you and your husband live by and your words were so inspirational to me because there are times that we all have our bad moments like you said but its good to know that we have our partner to cheer us up who will be by our side. Your words of advice really touched me and are something I am going to share with my significant other. Thank you. =)

  9. I hope one day to have a love & relationship like this. You and your sister are truly inspiring in every way.

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