Having an all or nothing personality, or I like to call it- being passionate, has many strengths and it also has many challenges. I live life to the fullest!! I have always had a ‘go big or go home’ view towards everything in my life. And as one of my closest friends says to me: “I rarely go home” lol :)

The pros: When I set my mind to something there isn’t anything that will stand in my way of accomplishing it. It’s not within me to try half way or give up. I give 110% of myself and my efforts to everything I do. I live life with a lot of passion and I allow that passion to guide me. If I’m not passionate about something, I don’t do it. So when I set my mind on something and pour my heart into it, I will always succeed!

When I commit to something or someone I am committed! Whether it is a friendship, romantic relationship, work, or a goal I set for myself – I stay committed all the way thru. This helps me to never give up on my goals and dreams. This also makes me very loyal to whoever I commit to, it takes a lot for me to end a relationship. I love very hard and with a lot of passion. This deep love and commitment I have makes me very passionate about being a great Mom. I take the responsibility of being a Mother very seriously and put my kids #1.

I feel life to the most. I experience love, laughter, joy in the deepest way possible. I physically feel the emotions so much it consumes my entire being. Which makes life so much fun! I am a forever optimist about life and always see the good in everyone.

The cons: Because I am a passionate person and feel life to the most, I also feel the ‘bad’ emotions to the most as well. When something devastating, traumatic or hurtful happens I go into such a deep place of pain. I feel the hurt so much deeper and worse than most. And it typically takes me longer to move out of that place of pain. I’ve been called a “victim” or “having a pity party”. But it’s the process I need to go thru in order for me to truly work thru these emotions and release them. If I move on before I’m ready with a fake smile these emotions will come back to bite me later. It’s always best to face emotions head on in the moment.

Good habits can take a turn into obsessions, leading to unhealthy behaviors. Let me give an example: Several years ago I wanted to lose about 20 pounds. It started off as working out 2-3 days a week and eating more healthy. Then I got obsessed with the high of the work outs and seeing results. I started working out 6 days a week and some times twice in the same day. I was only eating once a day and it was dry chicken and some veggies. I became obsessed with how skinny I could get. And I got very skinny!! I was so small I was photoshopping my body bigger for my IG pictures. Then I went a step further and went to a doctor to get a consultation for liposuction. He suggested lipo and a tummy tuck, making my waist 7 inches smaller (I was a 26 inch waist at the time). And that’s when I realized I had taken it too far!

Finding Balance: My highs are high and my lows are low. Having balance in my life is something I have always struggled with. I mean, it looks nice when I see others having balance. Just not sure how to accomplish that for myself. It almost feels like I’m not giving my full effort.

In 2020 I began working on finding more balance in my life. I worked on doing activities that use a medium amount of energy. Nothing to over stimulating and nothing to blah. It was my big attempt to find that balance. If I’m being completely honest, I got really bored lol! I was created to live life vibrantly and with a lot of excitement.

Always be unapologetically authentically YOU!

Joggers | Similar Tank | Similar Sunglasses

JACKET: Ivy Park | PANTS: Ivy Park | TANK: Topshop | SHOES: Chanel, similar for $40 | BAG: Celine | NECKLACE: Chanel

I have a full time job, I’m a full time single Mom and I blog.  I try to work out 3 times a week, eat healthy, raise good humans, I’m a perfectionist when it comes to my work, keep my house clean, laundry, kids activities, play dates, homework, time for myself and some fun, etc.  I’ve never really stopped to think about how that is a lot to juggle. I mean, it didn’t all happen at once or overnight.  I’ve always been a woman that does what needs to get done; as things come at me I figure it out and keep moving forward.

Recently I was asked the question by a friend who babysat for me: “How do I do it all?  Without any help?”  Then she added in how well mannered, sweet and not spoiled my kids are :)  I cried happy tears after she left.  Side note, as a Mom I feel like I’m failing all the time.  It’s the only thing in life where there isn’t a report or score or any way to know if you are doing it right.  There is no rule book, you just go with your gut and pray.

Back on topic, my Mom does help me when she is able to.  But I don’t have a nanny or assistant that helps me regularly.  I am solely responsible for my job and all things to do with my kids Monday-Friday, and most weekends.  I had never really stopped to think about how I do it all until I was asked this question.

It is a massive juggling act!  I know there are a lot of working single Mom’s out there doing the same juggling act every single day.  I thought about what I do that helps me stay on top of everything and not lose my sanity.

• MULTI TASK: I rarely get to do just one task at a time.  I am usually doing 3-4 things at once.  I work from home, so I will do a load of laundry and the dishes in between emails and conference calls.  Or I will answer an email at a red light while driving my kids to school.  I can grocery shop or be on the stair master during a conference call.  And I have never answered a phone call while on the toilet or in the shower (okay I have!)  I have become a master at wearing multiple hats all day long.  Funny story about working from home and multitasking: Caleb was home sick with the flu.  I was working all day.  I had run upstairs to make my bed and put normal clothes on (I was still in my sleep shirt and socks).  Caleb comes upstairs a minute later with two fingers covering his mouth.  I rush him into the bathroom to the toilet… he doesn’t make it!  He throws up all over my bare legs and socks (and of course the floor).  Before I have a chance to clean myself up I get a very important phone call I had been waiting for all morning.  I answer the call and have a professional conversation for 10 minutes while standing in my bedroom covered in vomit. Not the glamorous moment that goes on Instagram! And yes I immediately showered as soon as I was off the call.
• SCHEDULING & TIME MANAGEMENT:  This is the #1 thing that makes me able to do what I do!!  My kids schedule, my work schedule and my personal scheduled is so precise and works together in a way that my day is able to move smoothly.  I put so much thought into all the schedules and how they can work cohesively together.  Before committing to anything or scheduling an appointment, I look at the overall schedule and think about how it’s going to flow.  Then each day I think about what is on my to do list and how I will get it done.  For example: if I know I will be sitting at Caleb’s baseball practice for 90 minutes that evening I will save emails for that time.  Or I will do a work project that takes me several hours and make that my at home laundry day.
• EVERY MOMENT IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO TEACH MY KIDS SOMETHING: There are things to be learned (and taught) all day long.  I am always looking for moments to teach my kids life lessons about kindness, love, forgiveness, friendship, hard work, math, grammar, doing the right thing and being a good person.  Rarely is there a big moment like an after school special movie where we all sit down and talk about the lessons of life at the most opportune moment.  They usually present themselves in the car on the way to school when I am really tired, when I’m in the shower, trying to work, at bedtime, or having an adult conversation.  Never waste these moments!  Being a parent is your #1 job!!!  Always make the time to teach your kids the right thing and raise great people.
• LIST OF GREAT BABYSITTERS: With all of this work and being “on” all the time, I need a night out.  I need time to get out and do the things I like to do, not as a Mom or employee; just me!  It’s so important to take a mental break from it all and do something you enjoy for yourself.  Find babysitters you love and trust, and that your kids love and look forward to seeing.  While you are out, knowing that your kids are well taken care of gives you the mental freedom to enjoy yourself.  These moments are sooo important!  It’s all about balance.  When you take care of yourself and do what you like to do, you can return back to work and being a Mom with a more positive attitude.
• GO WITH THE FLOW:  Shit will hit the fan and things will break bad!  Life happens!  This is a guarantee, there will be a point where things are not going your way and you will have a bad day!  And when you don’t have a partner to lean on, you have to just go with the flow and do what you can.  You have to prioritize what’s important and let the small things roll off your back.  Because I have so many things on my plate all at one time, I have to decide what I will give my time and attention to.  Don’t spend time, energy or loose sleep over something that really isn’t important to your life or your kids lives.
• GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK: I am the first one to be very hard on myself.  I constantly think I can do better, be more patient, work harder, cook a better dinner (or cook at all and stop ordering uber eats), work out more, wear makeup more often, dress cuter, clean out that closet and the list goes on.  But then I stop and think about all the great things I’m doing right.  And how I’m only one person and there are only so many hours in the day.  I like to believe I’m Superwoman, but I’m actually not… I’m only human.  And being human I’m going to have bad days, get overwhelmed, cry in my closet and not always get everything right.  The important thing is that I keep trying and never give up!  All I have to do is look at my kids faces and those smiles, and I know I am doing something right :)

XO, Rachel

I am so happy to bring in a new year! This is the first time in my life I have felt this way.  I have never been a ‘new year, new me’ kind of girl.  I don’t wait for a new calendar year to set goals or evaluate my life and make changes.  But this year felt different for me.  2018 was a shitty year (pardon my French) and I could not wait to leave it behind me!

2018 was one of the most challenging years of my life. In my family we had 2 divorces and 3 deaths.  There was also challenges with my kids at school, my best friend had a major health scare, and many other challenging things. I remember a day in June, everything had been piling up for months and I was barely holding it together.  Something difficult happened in the morning, then that afternoon I got devastating news. I couldn’t hold it together any more, I fell apart and had an emotional breakdown.  I was in my Mom’s arms crying the hardest I have ever cried; I truly felt like I wouldn’t be able to go on. Like I wouldn’t make it out of this in one piece.  It all was too much and I didn’t know how I would move forward from that moment.

I’m not saying any of this to complain or get pity.  We all have bad years and low moments we fear we won’t be able to come out of.  You are not alone in this.  My advice is to reach out to who can help you and tell them you need help.  Go to therapy, talk to friends and family, heal your mind and emotions and focus on moving forward.

I have an amazing family and support system.  They were there for me in my darkest moments.  They helped me stand when I couldn’t stand on my own.  I couldn’t have gone thru 2018 without them.  What helped me the most is when I took responsibility for my emotional healing.  Yes, my family and friends are there for me.  But it’s my responsibility to take the necessary steps towards healing and moving forward.

I think of it like this: my support system helps me stand when I am down.  But I have to make the decision to take steps forward.  I am the only one who can move my feet one foot in front of the other.  In the beginning of my healing process it was a joint effort of my family and friends holding me up while I took my first steps.  Then when I felt strong enough I was able to walk on my own.  Now I can run on my own :)

I took 3 months off of work and made it my full time job to better myself and be a good Mom.  I went to therapy twice a week (90 minutes – 2 hours each session), I was reading every day, working out, eating healthy, praying, going to church.  I took control of my life and focused on being healthy in my mind, body and soul.  If I was having a hard day, I would call someone and talk to them.  I didn’t sit home alone feeling sad.  I reached out and asked for help if I needed it.  After 3 months I was a completely different woman!!

I am currently mentally & emotionally the strongest and healthiest I have ever been!  I have a calm and a peace I have never known.  Small things don’t get me worked up like they used to.  Yes, I still have bad days and get in fussy moods.  But those are now moments or a day.  It’s not my life every day and every moment.  I am still going to therapy every week because I know there is much more I can work on and I want to keep bettering myself.  I want to be the best version of me!  I’m so excited to see what this year brings!!

The last couple weeks of 2018 I felt a change in the air.  I felt like all the bad stuff is behind me and great things are ahead.  I keep getting this picture in my mind of a building with a poor foundation.  You first have to tear down the building, fix the foundation, then you can rebuild.  2018 was a tearing down and fixing things, which is very painful and uncomfortable.  2019 is rebuilding!  I am excited to be in a place to have happiness, joy, fun memories, love, lots of laughter, babies (a friend of mine is pregnant- not me! :) ), new experiences, peace, adventure, excitement and tons of fun!

2019 is going to be a great year!!!

XO, Rachel

BTW- This faux fur jacket I’m wearing is one of my favorite jackets I own!!  I got it last year, wore it a ton then and a ton this year!  It looks and feels so much more expensive than it is!