February 2019 | Life's Candy Jar

How I Juggle Working Full Time & Being a Single Mom

February 27, 2019 by Rachel Barkules

I have a full time job, I’m a full time single Mom and I blog. I try to work out 3 times a week, eat healthy, raise good humans, I’m a perfectionist when it comes to my work, keep my house clean, laundry, kids activities, play dates, homework, time for myself and some fun, etc. I’ve never really stopped to think about how that is a lot to juggle. I mean, it didn’t all happen at once or overnight. I’ve always been a woman that does what needs to get done; as things come at me I figure it out and keep moving forward.

Recently I was asked the question by a friend who babysat for me: “How do I do it all? Without any help?” Then she added in how well mannered, sweet and not spoiled my kids are :) I cried happy tears after she left. Side note, as a Mom I feel like I’m failing all the time. It’s the only thing in life where there isn’t a report or score or any way to know if you are doing it right. There is no rule book, you just go with your gut and pray.

Back on topic, my Mom does help me when she is able to. But I don’t have a nanny or assistant that helps me regularly. I am solely responsible for my job and all things to do with my kids Monday-Friday, and most weekends. I had never really stopped to think about how I do it all until I was asked this question.

It is a massive juggling act! I know there are a lot of working single Mom’s out there doing the same juggling act every single day. I thought about what I do that helps me stay on top of everything and not lose my sanity.

MULTI TASK: I rarely get to do just one task at a time. I am usually doing 3-4 things at once. I work from home, so I will do a load of laundry and the dishes in between emails and conference calls. Or I will answer an email at a red light while driving my kids to school. I can grocery shop or be on the stair master during a conference call. And I have never answered a phone call while on the toilet or in the shower (okay I have!) I have become a master at wearing multiple hats all day long. Funny story about working from home and multitasking: Caleb was home sick with the flu. I was working all day. I had run upstairs to make my bed and put normal clothes on (I was still in my sleep shirt and socks). Caleb comes upstairs a minute later with two fingers covering his mouth. I rush him into the bathroom to the toilet… he doesn’t make it! He throws up all over my bare legs and socks (and of course the floor). Before I have a chance to clean myself up I get a very important phone call I had been waiting for all morning. I answer the call and have a professional conversation for 10 minutes while standing in my bedroom covered in vomit. Not the glamorous moment that goes on Instagram! And yes I immediately showered as soon as I was off the call.
SCHEDULING & TIME MANAGEMENT: This is the #1 thing that makes me able to do what I do!! My kids schedule, my work schedule and my personal scheduled is so precise and works together in a way that my day is able to move smoothly. I put so much thought into all the schedules and how they can work cohesively together. Before committing to anything or scheduling an appointment, I look at the overall schedule and think about how it’s going to flow. Then each day I think about what is on my to do list and how I will get it done. For example: if I know I will be sitting at Caleb’s baseball practice for 90 minutes that evening I will save emails for that time. Or I will do a work project that takes me several hours and make that my at home laundry day.
EVERY MOMENT IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO TEACH MY KIDS SOMETHING: There are things to be learned (and taught) all day long. I am always looking for moments to teach my kids life lessons about kindness, love, forgiveness, friendship, hard work, math, grammar, doing the right thing and being a good person. Rarely is there a big moment like an after school special movie where we all sit down and talk about the lessons of life at the most opportune moment. They usually present themselves in the car on the way to school when I am really tired, when I’m in the shower, trying to work, at bedtime, or having an adult conversation. Never waste these moments! Being a parent is your #1 job!!! Always make the time to teach your kids the right thing and raise great people.
LIST OF GREAT BABYSITTERS: With all of this work and being “on” all the time, I need a night out. I need time to get out and do the things I like to do, not as a Mom or employee; just me! It’s so important to take a mental break from it all and do something you enjoy for yourself. Find babysitters you love and trust, and that your kids love and look forward to seeing. While you are out, knowing that your kids are well taken care of gives you the mental freedom to enjoy yourself. These moments are sooo important! It’s all about balance. When you take care of yourself and do what you like to do, you can return back to work and being a Mom with a more positive attitude.
GO WITH THE FLOW: Shit will hit the fan and things will break bad! Life happens! This is a guarantee, there will be a point where things are not going your way and you will have a bad day! And when you don’t have a partner to lean on, you have to just go with the flow and do what you can. You have to prioritize what’s important and let the small things roll off your back. Because I have so many things on my plate all at one time, I have to decide what I will give my time and attention to. Don’t spend time, energy or loose sleep over something that really isn’t important to your life or your kids lives.
GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK: I am the first one to be very hard on myself. I constantly think I can do better, be more patient, work harder, cook a better dinner (or cook at all and stop ordering uber eats), work out more, wear makeup more often, dress cuter, clean out that closet and the list goes on. But then I stop and think about all the great things I’m doing right. And how I’m only one person and there are only so many hours in the day. I like to believe I’m Superwoman, but I’m actually not… I’m only human. And being human I’m going to have bad days, get overwhelmed, cry in my closet and not always get everything right. The important thing is that I keep trying and never give up! All I have to do is look at my kids faces and those smiles, and I know I am doing something right :)

XO, Rachel

How I Use My Waist Trainer & the Results I See

February 18, 2019 by Rachel Barkules

WAIST TRAINER | CAMO LEGGINGS

I’ve been using a waist trainer for about 2 years now. I swear by it! It really works!! There are several different ways, or reasons, I like to wear it.

I wear it several hours a day a few days a week for “maintenance”. It helps cinch in my waist, giving that hourglass look and make it flat. I’m not always that consistent with this. Some times I will forget and go weeks without wearing it. I really notice a difference (in a negative way) that I’m not wearing it. The more I wear it the more I notice an hourglass shape to my body and flatter tummy. It also helps me throughout the day to not over eat and to only eat when I actually need to.
When I have a special event that evening, I wear it all day- like the minute I wake up I put it on and don’t take it off all day. It eliminates all bloating and excess water weight in my mid section. I can see a noticeable difference in the size of my waist line and the flatness of my tummy.
I wear it while I work out, especially when doing cardio. I’ve only done this a few times. This will make you sweat so much in your midsection and make your tummy very flat. One time I lost 4 pounds doing the stair master and wearing my waist trainer. Now this is just temporary water weight loss. But my tummy was very flat that evening!
You can wear it under clothes for a cinched, curvy look. I personally have never done this for a special event. But I have friends that have and they love it. They will wear it under a fitted dress to give them that curvy cinched flat midsection.
It gives me better posture. While wearing this waist trainer it forces me to sit upright and stand straight. It’s almost impossible to slump over my shoulders because it’s not comfortable. I love wearing it while sitting at my desk working because I have to sit up straight with my shoulders back. I notice at the end of the day I don’t have as much back and neck pain because I’ve been sitting with better posture all day.

Back to Blogging

February 15, 2019 by Rachel Barkules

This past year I have taken a break from my blog. Soooo much has happened! John and I got divorced, you can read my post about it here. Going thru a divorce is very difficult, I needed to focus my time on my kids and myself. My blog was the thing that got put on the shelf to free up time. It was necessary time that I needed for myself and for my kids.

I am so happy and thankful I was able to spend that time healing and getting into a better place. I talked a lot about it and what helped me the most in my New Year’s post.

I first want to say a HUGE thank you to all of YOU!!!! Over the past year I have gotten the most amazing comments, dm’s, emails. I have truly felt the love from you. You have no idea some of the timing of your comments and what they have meant to me. You all have been so encouraging and supportive. I love you very much and am forever grateful for you!

I am so happy to return to blogging! I have missed it so much. I have missed putting together cute outfits and sharing new beauty products I have found. Writing my blog pushes me to try new things and keep up to date with styles and trends. I am so excited to be back to it!! My Mom is now taking my pictures and Sofia has taken a lot of my pictures that I post on IG. I’m using my iPhone instead of a professional camera, so the quality isn’t quite as good. You will be seeing a lot of laughing or silly pictures. My Mom is hysterical when taking my pictures and I can’t stop laughing! :). She will sing these silly made up songs in a high pitched squeaky voice to get me to laugh lol!

About the Outfit: I love finding great basics for my closet. I especially love finding great t-shirts! I’m always checking to see when Topshop comes out with new basic tees and tanks and I always buy them. And they never disappoint! I bought this v-neck tee in white and in black. I love the cut and the length. The black is a little thicker than the white. The white is thick enough that it is not see through.

These jeans I’m wearing from Express are very high waisted. They hit above my belly button. So they are perfect for anything super cropped or if you want your legs to look a lot longer. Express also makes jeans that look the same in a mid-rise, although I think they are more of a high rise because they hit me right at the belly button. This pair I wear at least several times a week for more than a year, and I just ordered a second pair. Both are 40% off today!

Have a great weekend!
XO, Rachel

Valentine’s Day Look & Gift Guide

February 7, 2019 by Rachel Barkules

My Mom was taking the pictures, and the whole time she was cracking jokes and singing in the most hysterical voice. I’m surprised I got even one normal picture without me laughing. :)

I can’t help but love Valentine’s Day, I always have. I love love! So naturally I’m going to love a day set aside to celebrate love and romance. Enjoy flowers, chocolate, champagne, romantic dinner, whatever you enjoy with the man you love. Or enjoy a day treating yourself, because that’s the longest relationship you have been in! Buy yourself a gift, take a bubble bath, go out with your girls. Or do something special with your kids, shower your love on them. However you celebrate, make sure you love yourself and you feel loved.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

I wanted to share a gift guide for some suggestions. But don’t forget about flowers, a spa treatment, a coupon book for favors (you can go many directions with that :) ), or any romantic gestures.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

XO, Rachel

Losing Holiday Weight : Small Changes that Make a BIG Difference!

February 4, 2019 by Rachel Barkules

I had a lot of fun over the holidays! From Thanksgiving to after New Years Eve I didn’t work out one time, and I ate and drank everything I wanted to. No joke, I did not hold back at all!! If I wanted to eat Christmas cookies all day long I did. If I wanted to eat a huge dinner and a bottle of wine at 11:00pm then have dessert after I did. Let me just say, I enjoyed myself and I don’t regret it! :)

All that fun caught up to me and when I stepped on the scale on January 2nd and I had gained 9 pounds. More importantly than the scale going up, I saw a noticeable difference when I looked in the mirror and my clothes didn’t fit the same (meaning I could barely button my jeans). In additional to my body changes, I didn’t feel my best. My head was cloudy, I was always tired, bloated, overall just yuck!

I used to love doing an intense diet or cleanse or detox to get immediate results and shock my body back into where it was. As I get older that does not appeal to me. I’d rather take it easy on my body and make a few small changes at a time that I can actually do and maintain, and not feel like garbage from it being so drastic.

Here are the few things I always start with that I can start seeing results within 2 weeks. They are small adjustments that make a big change in my life. So far, I have lost 5 of the 9 pounds. Then after I have made these things my lifestyle I can build on them; tighten up my diet even more or add more to my work outs.

Eat dinner at least 4 hours before bed and do not eat anything after dinner. This makes a huge difference! Late night snacking is the worst thing you can do. It adds weight quickly and makes you bloated. It can be hard the first couple of nights not eating after dinner, I usually go to bed hungry. But my body adjusts after about 5 days and I don’t feel hungry any more at bed time.
Do not eat candy or anything sugary all day long. I have a major sweet tooth! And when I let myself eat anything and everything I want, I snack on candy and cookies all day long. When I say all day I really mean it. Like breakfast, lunch, dinner, after dinner and snacks all day long. This constant intake of sugar is so unhealthy. Since I have such an intense sweet tooth I still allow myself to have something each day. I have a small portion only once a day and I eat it in the morning or early afternoon.
Move your body for at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week. Ideally this would be going to the gym or some kind of work out. If you have slacked at the gym or your work outs then get back to them! But if you’re not a gym/work out person, trying to add that to your lifestyle may be something you can’t commit to long term. Instead, do something you can stick with. Make this a walk outside or doing something active with your kids, go on a bike ride. Do anything that moves your body.
Switch your alcohol drink to vodka or tequila. Red wine, beer and dark liquors have a lot of sugar and/or carbs. If you want to have an alcoholic drink, have vodka or tequila with as little sugar added to the drink as possible. I loooooove red wine! I used to drink it every night at the end of the day. But I learned drinking red wine every night adds weight to my waistline. I switched my drink to vodka, soda with lemon or lime (no sugar) and my waist stays slim. I drink Tito’s vodka, its very clean and gluten free.
Drink lots of water. Lack of water or being dehydrated makes your body bloat and stay swollen. The body thinks it’s going thru a drought and holds onto all the water it has. Drinking a lot of water flushes out the body and helps with weight loss. And the added bonus, drinking a lot of water hydrates the skin and gives you a healthy glow.
Get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. Getting adequate rest is everything! Our bodies need enough sleep to reset and recharge. I’m sure we have all seen the commercials about cortisol being flushed out of our system when we sleep. And if we don’t get enough sleep the cortisol isn’t fully flushed out and it causes weight gain. Well, it’s true! Our bodies need sleep to reset our systems and wake up with energy. That energy helps us make healthier food choices and get some exercise.
Eat healthy during the week, splurge on the weekends. Eating healthy makes me feel great, and the food tastes delicious. But some times it feels like a job and I just want a piece of pizza or a burger and a milkshake. This is why I allow myself to splurge and eat what I want on the weekends. This mentally makes it easier to make healthy food choices during the week. If I’m craving chocolate cake, I know I can have it this Saturday. It makes it much easier to eat healthy now. Plus, it’s all about balance. I want to be able to enjoy my life and not feel like a slave to a diet.