My Dating Diary :: The One With Brown Teeth, is Homeless and Loves Gouda

Oooooohhhhhh where do I start with this one!  This is hands down my worst first date, but also the most comical.  At this moment in my life I had been divorced for almost a year. I had very little dating experience because I was focused on other things.  I was finally ready to get back out there!  And what better way than to sign up for a dating app.  Pause for a deep breath lol

I met a guy who I started chatting with.  He had a great smile, blue eyes and brown hair.  He had recently moved to the area for his job, he was the VP of marketing.  We text for about 2 weeks before we met for our first date.  Everything about him seemed great and I was excited to meet him.

I walked into the restaurant for our date, he was already at the table.  He stood up to say hello and gave me flowers.  Flowers seems like a nice gesture right?!  I though it was… for about 10 seconds.  Then I realized, what the hell am I supposed to do with these flowers in a crowded restaurant?  There wasn’t room for them on the table.  I tried putting them on the bench next to me, but they were touching the person at the table to the right.  It seems like a nice thing, but no!

Next, he smiled at me and had brown teeth.  That’s when I realized all of his photos are him smiling with his lips closed.  Didn’t think it was something I had to put much thought into, but now I realize… a close lipped smile could mean brown teeth!

I should have left right then, but didn’t want to be rude. 

I began asking about his life, like where he grew up, etc. You know, the typical first date stuff.  I quickly realized that this man has lived a life of many complications and turmoils, non of which any of it was his fault.  He blamed his mom, his dad, his stepmom, his teachers, his ex girlfriend, his ex boss, etc.  He had many wild stories of things that had happened to him.  But where he is today and who he is as a person had nothing to do with any of his decisions.  Interesting!!  Victim mentality much!

I then asked him about his relocation and his job.  Turns out his “VP of marketing” was him working at a small local gym helping them put together flyers and small social events to bring in new customers.  As in: we are serving lemonade, bring in a friend and hopefully they will sign up for a membership. Ground breaking lol!! So to say VP of marketing is a bit of a stretch!

Then I asked him where he lives and does he like the area?  Well…… he had a whole story of how he was living with this girl that was just a friend.  Then one night she tried to sleep with him and he refused so she kicked him out.  (another story where nothing is his fault) Now he is living at the gym.  SO…… HOMELESS!! He literally doesn’t have a home.  He is living at a gym and showering in the locker room!  With no plan on when he will find an actual residence.

At this point of the date I wasn’t even angry about all the mislead information, I was more intrigued about what he might say next. 

As the server took our dinner order, he leaned over to her and whispered his order like a secret. Literally putting his hand up over his mouth so I couldn’t see and whispered it.  Then after she left he turns to me and says he likes more simple food and ordered the cheese quesadilla off the kids menu.  We were at this amazing Mexican restaurant and that is what he ordered. All I could think is, what the actually hell is happening?!?!?!

At this point I was struggling to keep the conversation going.  And that rarely happens, I can make good conversation with a wall!  I just didn’t want to talk to him any more and didn’t care if things got awkwardly quiet.  I mean… how much more awkward can things get.

In the small moment of quiet, he started a conversation about his love for gouda cheese.  It was literally the moment from ‘Forest Gump’ where Bubba is talking about all the ways to cook and eat shrimp ;). He went on and on for at least 10 minutes about gouda cheese…. I like gouda on my hamburgers, gouda in my mash potatoes, slightly melt gouda and drizzle it on my asparagus, gouda and salami with a cracker, gouda in my mac and cheese, gouda on a sandwich, gouda with my eggs, gouda fully melted tasted different than gouda slightly melted…..  I had no idea a person could have such a love for gouda and talk about it for so long.  It was so weird that the tables next to me were giving weird looks.  I gave the look back like – I know!!!

As dinner was ending, he asked me to walk to a bar next door.  He said he wanted to get me drunk so I find him more attractive.  Classy!  I told him I had an early morning meeting and had to go home.  I got into my car and got the hell out of there!!  

That is when I learned to meet for just a drink, not dinner, on a first date.  Always have an escape plan to leave quickly!  You never know when you will find yourself on a date with a homeless man ;)

OUTFIT DETAILS

Joggers: Abercrombie | Bodysuit: Abercrombie | Shoes: Similar Here & Here | Bag: Chanel, Similar Here & Here | Necklaces: Longer Necklace, Middle Necklace, Shortest Necklace | Hoops: Lana Jewelry, similar for $35

These joggers have become an instant favorite! I love looooove joggers! They are a staple in my wardrobe just like jeans. I have already worn these twice in the last week. The other time I dressed them down with this bodysuit and these sneakers. The fabric is amazing! They are comfy enough to wear all day, and also nice enough to be dressed up as well.

Nordstrom Sale Try-On Haul 2021

I am so excited to share my Nordstrom Anniversary try-on haul. There are so many great pieces! I did a try on with videos on my Instagram. I saved it to my highlights so you can reference it any time through out the sale.

Good American Top / Body Suit [Sale Price: $89.90, Regular $139] This top is so cuuuuuute! I love the cute of it and the detail at the wrist. The shape of it makes it very figure flattering. It’s a great piece that is beautiful and easy to wear. What else are we looking for in a top?! I have been so against body suits ever since they came out. I always thought they looked so uncomfortable and awful. But I tried one for the first time a couple weeks ago and now I’m obsessed. The top stays in place and doesn’t ride up out of my jeans or up on my body. Plus they are very comfortable! I’m wearing my normal size: 2/M

Good American Denim [Sale Price: $99.90, Regular $159] This style of denim from Good American is my favorite! It’s the only pair of denim I can buy and not have altered. It fits me thru the butt, hips and thighs; while still fitting in my waist. It’s amazing!! Plus they have a great amount of stretch (they are insanely comfortable) but don’t stretch out and get baggy. (remember to always hang dry your denim). My Nordstrom store only had this wash in store. I also order dark grey distressed, this classic dark blue pair and a medium blue distressed. I’m wearing my normal size: 6/28

Necklaces: I love a layered necklace look. All 3 of these necklaces are separate. Which is something I love because I get to mix and match them with current things I have in my closet and create a different look for whatever I’m in the mood for. These are all great pieces that can be mixed into what you currently have, or get all 3 for an amazing look!

Longer Necklace [Sale Price: $61.90, Regular $100] Middle Necklace [Sale Price: $77.90, Regular $125] Shortest Necklace [Sale Price: $49.90, Regular $78]

Good American High Shine Pants [Sale Price: $99.90, Regular $169] These have immediately become my new favorite pants! They will be on repeat in my closet! They fit and hug the body, pulling everything in for a great look. They do the work of Spanx. I’m wearing my normal size. But when I first put them on I thought they were too small, they barely got past my hips. It was a bit of struggle to get them on. I was literally jumping up and down in the fitting room to get them on my body, I thought I was going to rip them. But once they were on my body they fit amazing and sucked me in and are very comfortable. I’m wearing my normal size: 2/M

Nike Sweatshirt [Sale Price: $44.90, Regular $60] This is a great fit and is so perfect for lounging around the house or running errands. Or in the last year, going out to eat! I’ve become so casual and I now wear sweatshirts or hoodies with sneakers out to a causal dinner. I know this will be on repeat. I’m wearing my normal size: Medium

Sweaty Betty Leggings [Sale Price: $49.90, Regular $78] I love a black legging with a little something extra. I am a person who lives in athletic wear and tends to wear all black, it makes everything so easy. To find a black legging with a little fun it awesome! These are very soft and comfy! I typically always size down in leggings that have good stretch to them, I hate a baggy legging. That’s what I did here, I’m wearing size: Small

Open Edit Faux Leather Pants [Sale Price: $39.90, Regular $59] OKAY so I first have to say, Sofia looks amazing and is going up soooo much!! She is growing into her own and finding such a fun style. I love all the outfits she is choosing. These pants are amazing!! I love the fit, I love the style, I love the price!!! These are a huge win!!! She is wearing her normal size: Small

Ecco Lace-Up Boot [Sale Price: $99.90, Regular $150] Sofia has been obsessed with this style of boot for a while. She was so excited to get these she was smiling ear to ear! I think they are so cute and good quality.

BDG Urban Outfitters Denim [Sale Price: $45.90, Regular $78] This style of denim is so cute!! It looks so great on Sofia and so on trend. And the price is amazing for a great pair of denim! She found the waist a little snug and sized up 1 size in these.

Converse High Top Sneaker [Sale Price: $59.90, Regular $80] I am obsessed with these high top black leather converse with a platform. Seriously!! This is an amazing shoe!!

Good American Jacket [Sale Price: $144.90, Regular $215] So figure flattering and such a great fit! I love that it is versatile enough to be worn for business and also out to dinner and drinks. This is truly the desk to drinks piece!! This is a classic piece that I can grab for years to come. I’m wearing my normal size: 2/M

Good American High Shine Pants [Sale Price: $99.90, Regular $169] These have immediately become my new favorite pants! They will be on repeat in my closet! They fit and hug the body, pulling everything in for a great look. They do the work of Spanx. I’m wearing my normal size. But when I first put them on I thought they were too small, they barely got past my hips. It was a bit of struggle to get them on. I was literally jumping up and down in the fitting room to get them on my body, I thought I was going to rip them. But once they were on my body they fit amazing and sucked me in and are very comfortable. I’m wearing my normal size: 2/M

Paige Blouse [Sale Price: $124.90, Regular $189] This is an amazing blouse that is so feminine and flattering and easy to wear. I love the detail along the neckline, the love the v-neck cut, I love the sleeve detail, I love the fabric and how it falls on the body. This is such a beautiful top! It’s so easy to throw on with a pair of jeans out and go out. I’m wearing my normal size: Medium

Baublebar Necklace [Sale Price: $38.90, Regular $58] I love a layered necklace look. This one is so great because it’s all one piece. And for the price, it looks waaaaay more expensive than it is!

Good American Denim [Sale Price: $99.90, Regular $159] This style of denim from Good American is my favorite! It’s the only pair of denim I can buy and not have altered. It fits me thru the butt, hips and thighs; while still fitting in my waist. It’s amazing!! Plus they have a great amount of stretch (they are insanely comfortable) but don’t stretch out and get baggy. (remember to always hang dry your denim). My Nordstrom store only had this wash in store. I also order dark grey distressed, this classic dark blue pair and a medium blue distressed. I’m wearing my normal size: 6/28

AllSaints Bodysuit [Sale Price: $49.90, Regular $75] Most of my closet is filled with staple pieces; including tanks and tees that can be worn alone or paired under a jacket, blazer, hoodie, etc. I love a staple piece that fits amazing and also can make a statement on it’s own. This will be a piece that is on repeat! I’m wearing size: 8US

Good American Denim [Sale Price: $99.90, Regular $159] This style of denim from Good American is my favorite! It’s the only pair of denim I can buy and not have altered. It fits me thru the butt, hips and thighs; while still fitting in my waist. It’s amazing!! Plus they have a great amount of stretch (they are insanely comfortable) but don’t stretch out and get baggy. (remember to always hang dry your denim). My Nordstrom store only had this wash in store. I also order dark grey distressed, this classic dark blue pair and a medium blue distressed. I’m wearing my normal size: 6/28

Zella Top [Sale Price: $22.90, Regular $35] This top is great for a work out or running errands, whatever you want. You can layer it under a jacket. I love tops like this for an athletic look when I’m out and about. This top runs big, I’m wearing a small (normally wear a medium) and it’s still a little loose.

Sweaty Betty Leggings [Sale Price: $49.90, Regular $78] I love a black legging with a little something extra. I am a person who live in athletic wear and tends to wear all black, it makes everything so easy. To find a black legging with a little fun it awesome! These are very soft and comfy! I typically always size down in leggings that have good stretch to them, I hate a baggy legging. That’s what I did here, I’m wearing size: Small

Fendi Sunglasses [Sale Price: $242.90, Regular $405] It’s been a long time since I have purchased a pair of designer sunglasses. When I saw these in the store I knew they belonged to me! They are an amazing shape. I always love this material for sunglasses but they normally slide down my nose and make a huge mark in my makeup. These have a great nose piece so they sit perfectly and don’t create a big smudge in my makeup. I’m obsessed!!

Nordstrom Anniversary Sale 2021 :: My Favorites & What I’m Ordering

The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale is the biggest sale of the year! I always mark my calendar, look at the preview as early as it comes out, go to the store and shop on the first day. I’m sharing everything I have seen online that I currently have and love – highly recommend! Also, some items I know I will order.

I’ll be sharing my try on haul tomorrow :)

Clothing

Clothing : Loungewear & Pj’s

Shoes

Accessories

Beauty

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My Experience with Dating After Divorce

I have been divorced and back on the dating market for 3 years now.  All I can say is, so much has changed since the last time I was single back in 2002.  Not only has our society changed so much when it comes to dating, I am now dating as a 38 year old divorced mom.  It’s a whole new world I have had to learn how to navigate.

Getting back on the dating scene after being married for 15 years has been exciting, fun and scary.  I love to have new experiences and adventures and enjoy meeting new people.  I also get scared I’m going to meet some creep with bad intentions and end up a skin suit.

I think dating can be fun if you go into it with the right approach.  Every date is an opportunity to get to know someone new from a different walk of life.  Everyone has a story.  I ask questions and hear their story, every man loves to talk about himself ;).  My personality is a huge talker, but I do my best to ask questions because I am there to get to know him.  Getting to know him is the only way I will know if I want a second date.  Even if it doesn’t go any further than a first date, it’s always an opportunity to learn something.  Something new he said about life, something new about myself, or learn more about what I want and what I don’t want.  Even a bad date is not a waste of time if I can find the lesson to be learned.

Always be safe!  I always meet my date at the restaurant.  I never let him know where I live until I feel completely comfortable and safe that he has that information.  For me, it’s at least several dates before I would let him pick me up and know where I live.  Also, to be alone in a car with a man is a vulnerable position.  This is another reason why I won’t let him pick me up until I’m comfortable.  Before a date I always let at least one person know where I’m going, what time, what I’m doing, etc.  And I check in regularly with that person throughout the date to ensure I am safe.  Always take the necessary steps to stay safe.

In the past 3 years I have been on many first dates and have had 2 relationships (one short and one long).  I have had many experiences; some good, some bad and some in between.  I plan to share specific stories of some of my dates in later posts.  There are some hysterical stories!

What do I find to be the biggest challenge?  Being in my upper 30’s it’s a unique group of men that are single.  I have found it’s either men that are divorced- which brings up all of those questions… What happened?  Do you have kids, how many, how old?  What is the coparenting relationship like?  If he talks negative about his ex-wife on the first date, run!  Then there are the men that have never been married.  Which leads to a different set of questions… Do you have commitment issues?  Are you a workaholic? Are you emotionally unavailable or have extreme mental health issues?  No one is a clean slate, myself included. 

I love the scene in ‘The Other Woman’ when Leslie Mann says: “The last time I was single the dating pool was everyone.  Now it’s a shallow puddle of age appropriate men.” LOL!!  Then Cameron Diaz goes on to say that it’s even worse than that!  This is pretty much how I have felt!

One advantage is most people my age know what they want.  They have an established life and aren’t going out on a date to waste time.  More often than not, they are up front about their life and what they are looking for.  The first date typically feels more like a job interview.  You go over all the important things and ask the hard questions.  I like this because I can make a logical decision before getting my heart invested.  Everyone has deal breakers.  You may as well ask right away and don’t waste time.

I have found it difficult to navigate dating while having young children. I am very protective over my children and always want them to feel safe.  My kids are with me the majority of the time and I don’t want to get a babysitter so I can go on a date.  I will only go on a date on nights they are with their dad.  Which doesn’t provide me a lot of free time to date.  I also keep my dating life extremely private from my kids.  I don’t tell them if I am going on a date.  They did know when I was in my longer relationship, only because they kept seeing his name pop up on my phone and they asked me about him.  They knew his name and they saw a picture of him and that’s about it.  

Still to this day my kids have never met anyone I have dated.  I tell my kids “when I meet someone who is special enough that has earned the right to meet you, that’s when you will meet him.”  And I take that very seriously.  My kids will ask me about dating once in a while.  They used to only want it to be just the 3 of us forever.  But now they have let me know they want me to meet someone and be in love.   I think as time as passed from the divorce and they are growing up, they don’t want me to live life alone.  I also think they like the idea of having a male figure in the home, it adds something that I can’t provide.  They have put in some special requests…. Caleb told me he wants a brother who is 9 or 10 years old. lol!

I spend almost all of my time with my kids, my family or working.  This doesn’t provide me much opportunity to meet someone.  This is another area I have found challenging.  Where do I meet someone?  I have tried dating apps – OMG! I could write a book on my experience on dating apps lol!  I go out with my girlfriends for dinner, drinks, music; this seems like it would be a good opportunity to meet someone.  But hasn’t ever worked out well for me.  Some advice given to me from my brother: if I’m out at a restaurant, bar, wherever and a man approaches me he’s a douche bag.  The good quality men don’t approach in this way, they usually just sit with their friends.  Which puts the ball in my court to approach him.  It’s good advice!  But it’s a hard one for me to swallow.  I believe in a man making the first move and pursuing the woman.  I can be very old fashion when it comes to dating.  But I’ve also been told that as a woman all I have to do is smile at a man from across the room that I’m interested in meeting.  And if he is interested he will walk over and say hi.  Again good advice, but hasn’t worked for me :/

I’m sharing this advice in hopes it will be helpful for someone.  If it works for you let me know ;)

I’ve always been a positive person and believe in love.  I am a true hopeless romantic.  I love romantic movies and the big grand gesture that the man does for the woman he loves.  I know it’s a movie, but I do believe that can happen in real life.  After a failed marriage and 3 years of dating and I’m currently as single as it gets (literally zero prospects currently!), it would be easy for me to become cynical or bitter.  But I refuse!  I will always believe in love.  I still believe the right man is out there for me somewhere.  And we will find each other when the time is right.  

OUTFIT DETAILS

Dress: Good American (my most worn dress ever!!) | Necklace: Lana Jewelry, similar under $40

Having an ‘All or Nothing’ Personality: the Pros & the Cons

Having an all or nothing personality, or I like to call it- being passionate, has many strengths and it also has many challenges. I live life to the fullest!! I have always had a ‘go big or go home’ view towards everything in my life. And as one of my closest friends says to me: “I rarely go home” lol :)

The pros: When I set my mind to something there isn’t anything that will stand in my way of accomplishing it. It’s not within me to try half way or give up. I give 110% of myself and my efforts to everything I do. I live life with a lot of passion and I allow that passion to guide me. If I’m not passionate about something, I don’t do it. So when I set my mind on something and pour my heart into it, I will always succeed!

When I commit to something or someone I am committed! Whether it is a friendship, romantic relationship, work, or a goal I set for myself – I stay committed all the way thru. This helps me to never give up on my goals and dreams. This also makes me very loyal to whoever I commit to, it takes a lot for me to end a relationship. I love very hard and with a lot of passion. This deep love and commitment I have makes me very passionate about being a great Mom. I take the responsibility of being a Mother very seriously and put my kids #1.

I feel life to the most. I experience love, laughter, joy in the deepest way possible. I physically feel the emotions so much it consumes my entire being. Which makes life so much fun! I am a forever optimist about life and always see the good in everyone.

The cons: Because I am a passionate person and feel life to the most, I also feel the ‘bad’ emotions to the most as well. When something devastating, traumatic or hurtful happens I go into such a deep place of pain. I feel the hurt so much deeper and worse than most. And it typically takes me longer to move out of that place of pain. I’ve been called a “victim” or “having a pity party”. But it’s the process I need to go thru in order for me to truly work thru these emotions and release them. If I move on before I’m ready with a fake smile these emotions will come back to bite me later. It’s always best to face emotions head on in the moment.

Good habits can take a turn into obsessions, leading to unhealthy behaviors. Let me give an example: Several years ago I wanted to lose about 20 pounds. It started off as working out 2-3 days a week and eating more healthy. Then I got obsessed with the high of the work outs and seeing results. I started working out 6 days a week and some times twice in the same day. I was only eating once a day and it was dry chicken and some veggies. I became obsessed with how skinny I could get. And I got very skinny!! I was so small I was photoshopping my body bigger for my IG pictures. Then I went a step further and went to a doctor to get a consultation for liposuction. He suggested lipo and a tummy tuck, making my waist 7 inches smaller (I was a 26 inch waist at the time). And that’s when I realized I had taken it too far!

Finding Balance: My highs are high and my lows are low. Having balance in my life is something I have always struggled with. I mean, it looks nice when I see others having balance. Just not sure how to accomplish that for myself. It almost feels like I’m not giving my full effort.

In 2020 I began working on finding more balance in my life. I worked on doing activities that use a medium amount of energy. Nothing to over stimulating and nothing to blah. It was my big attempt to find that balance. If I’m being completely honest, I got really bored lol! I was created to live life vibrantly and with a lot of excitement.

Always be unapologetically authentically YOU!

Joggers | Similar Tank | Similar Sunglasses